2025 - Hopefully the end of chaos

In numerology the year 2025 adds up to a 9, so an ending of an era and next year will be a fresh start. We all know how it felt in 2020 when Covid came and it felt like the year was 3 times as long as a normal year, for me this year has had quick patches and some very long and slow ones. This blog is going to turn into a long winded post but if you make it to the end I say thanks and if you don’t then that is ok as well because I am just writing down my experiences to let people know that psychics are human as well, we still have stuff happen. The other reason I am writing this is because it will hold me accountable to following through on my upcoming plans.

So where I will start is with my mum, who for the past 4 or more years has had this mystery disease which we now know as MSA (Multiple System Atrophy) often called the beast because of the trouble it causes. We have put her through spine surgery (discectomy) because we were told if she didn’t she would be in a wheelchair within a couple of months. Following that surgery in February she struggled to walk with her walking frame and so was in need of a wheelchair. Also following that surgery she had what appeared to be asthma attacks but after a stay in hospital found out that her vocal cord had been paralysed in the surgery and she had the size of a drinking straw to breathe through. So that led to a vocal cordectomy which helped her breathing but her speech was pretty much a whisper. For someone who talks a lot that was a hard thing to feel cut-off because people had trouble understanding her. If that wasn’t enough they took her of some medication too quickly and it meant her blood pressure would drop to 70 over 30. So for the two weeks after this last surgery I managed to keep her at home but I had three occasions when I dropped her because I couldn’t hold her up any longer. I know that sounds bad but if you can imagine a person falling forward with me planting each foot on the sides of the doorway trying to help stop her from falling, if she straightened back up then I would have fallen backwards. So when I couldn’t hold any longer I could get her to about 30cm off the ground before my hands would let go.

One day we had physio came and he was the one who first realised to check the blood pressure and he told us to get the ambulance. Then came 2 months in hospital with a couple of failed attempts to bring her home. One time the blood pressure crashed again and the other she came home with covid and we didn’t have anything strong enough for the pain. So between us we made the decision that it wasn’t going to be safe to come home again and had to find permanent residential care. I know mum would not like me telling everyone this but I needed to explain what happened so that you could understand a small portion of what I have been through.

As for me for the first time in my life I had to look after the house, clean, cook, garden and also manage to be there for my mum and look after my dog Lola. I am sure most of the time I have been in auto-pilot mode because the emotional side of loosing someone you have loved and lived with for 50 years. Even though at the time of writing this mum is still alive but I am also grieving because little by little I am loosing my best friend. I have times when I want to talk to mum about things that are happening but can’t because she doesn’t make sense. I know we all experience this at different times in our lives. For me I never had a partner to talk with about things so I have needed to learn to lean on others which is something that I haven’t done before. Even in my younger years when I had close friends I was always there for them but never told them what I was going through. So I am grateful for the couple of people who have been there for me and to some of mums friends who have also checked in us most days.

Now the hard bit I have not worked at my normal job for 5 months because it has been very full on caring and managing everything. My spiritual work has been extremely limited due to the constantly changing circumstances. In fact I doubt I have even seen 30 people in the whole of this year when normally it would be in the hundreds. You may think because I am psychic I would know what was coming and just breeze through. But I find it very hard to get guidance for myself, perhaps because I overthink it or just automatically follow without realising where the thought comes from. So not only have I spent nearly everyday with my mum as she nears the end, I have been trying to work out where I go from here. I have on two previous occasions tried unsuccessfully to just do my spiritual work. My mind and body don’t want to go back to my ordinary job, even though I enjoy it and they have been very understanding with me during the past few years and especially this year. To me I feel like it takes away from psychic work and that if I go back I am always going to struggle with if or when I can ever give up my job to give all my focus to my passion. I have also had backing from the government systems since 1996 and I just want to free myself completely. I don’t want to have to constantly be explaining why I did or didn’t get the hours that I am meant to do. But this is huge to even be thinking I can make it by myself because there would be no certainty of money, I am now having to pay for all the bills and expenses for myself and would not have a health care card to get discounts.

Because that isn’t enough stress to deal with I also am planning to get another puppy pal for Lola, which they don’t come cheaply these days. The old me would say NO don’t spend money on that save it for a rainy day. However the new me says if I am not prepared to take the risk then I am never going to be financially free. I am also going to commit to giving up alcohol something which has been part of my life every day for more than 30 years. Believe me if the earlier version of me knew and understand her spiritual side I may not have got hooked in the first place. I can’t go backwards and change it so I just have to accept that was my choice at the time. So the next month of 2025 will be spent using up my supplies, hopefully mum will pass peacefully in this patch and I can start 2026 as a new version of myself. Please don’t think I am being mean saying that I just know we have been through enough and we are both ready for her time on earth to end.

Can I do it? Yes

Am I scared? Yes

Is it going to be hard?  Yes

But my new affirmation is:

My business is more than successful

My business will thrive

And I will never struggle for money again

So if you made it here to the end of this, I truly thank you. People think that psychics have loads of appointments every week but I have not found many in this industry with that fortune. So please send me positive vibes and feel free to comment any ideas or suggestions as I embark on my greatest adventure yet. Believe me I am looking forward to it as well.

Kind regards

Row